How Parents Influence their Children’s Career Choices
I come from a family of educators. My maternal and paternal grandparents were in the teaching profession, so it was assumed one of us would follow in their stead. The chalk fell in my hands and I found myself in the education space for some time. I can safely say it was the most rewarding experience I encountered. Although I am no longer in the classroom, my teaching background permeates at every step of my career.
It would astound you to know my parents were vehemently against this when I initially showed interest in this sphere. They raised many valid points against the profession, so I discarded what I now realize is my passion because my parents disapproved. It is an age-old dilemma; parents will either discourage you from your chosen field or shove you headlong into one you despise. It is rarely if ever a joint discussion where both parties, parent and child, explore various career paths to find their child’s passion.
The irony is parents are the very best guides when it comes to helping their children find their passion. Here’s why, as the primary caregiver and parent, you have a front-row seat to your child’s development from their youth where their passions are astronomical, to young adulthood when their inherent traits and passions become more apparent. This positions them to assess their child’s passions, skillsets, and character traits; the main determinants in choosing a suitable and fulfilling career.
Additionally, as an authority figure and guide, your opinions matter. Your children trust you to innately have their best interests at heart, even if these may sometimes get lost in translation. Here’s the catch; there needs to be clear objectivity when guiding your children through their career journey. Too often, we champion jobs that are said to provide security, financial stability or are the paths we wish we ourselves could have taken. Although this can seem misguided for young adults trying to blaze their path, it comes from a place of love hence there is conflict, resentment, and eventual resignation into the obliged path.
How do we break this vicious cycle? The first step is building open and honest communication between you and your child. This will feel like it goes against the grain as most cultures dictate children are to be seen and not heard, while parents should be feared. Building a relationship with your child could start with something as simple as delving into their interests. What do they enjoy doing, subject-wise? What are their interests and past-times in the form of extra-curricular activities? Are they a sportsperson or public speaker, an artist or researcher? What topics excite them? Are they techie or fascinated with wildlife and forestry? As a spectator with a front-row seat to their existence, you can easily detect these and other insights.
What is their temperament like? Are they meticulous and detail-oriented, or are they strategic overarching planners? A good way to discern this is in the completion of everyday chores. Their behavior in this regard and the tasks they enjoy or prefer can be rather telling. For example, a child may enjoy solitary chores, or prefer creative chores like cooking. This can be an insightful tool and a great conversation starter in line with future careers. Another tip is engaging your children in discussions about their preferred career from a young age, say at the age of fourteen to fifteen. Humor them by asking why they would like a particular profession and identify the markers they share. Do they want to become a doctor because they are from a family of doctors or do they enjoy Grey’s Anatomy and it looks desirable, or are they passionate about saving lives? In this way, you can gauge their knowledge, passion, and aptitude for the desired field. You can then fill in the blanks by probing further and facilitating deeper thought. For example, should you want to be a doctor, do you know what subjects you would have to take? Do you enjoy science? Are you squeamish at the sight of blood? If being a doctor no longer paid as much as you would like, would you stay in the medical field?
The greatest gift you can give your child in terms of career guidance is a listening ear and objective advice that will help them make an informed and empowered decision.
For more information about how best to support your child in their pursuit of a lifelong career, feel free to read these additional resources: MidKent College & Qualifax
Author: Nicole Zulu is an educator at heart with a background in business development. She is a consultant at Shasha Network and leads a Mental Health organisation, Caterpillar’s Cocoon’s Trust. Their mission is to reshape the way society views Mental Wellbeing — they seek to help young women navigate their inner life by providing a toolkit of self-awareness, healing & empowerment
